Contact Tracing App
Help slow the spread of coronavirus (COVID-19) and enable mass surveillance by downloading this contact tracing app. Designed to alert users, via Bluetooth, to run the fuck away from close contacts who test positive or who like their own IG photos.
In this Brave New World, protect family and friends, and save the lives of others. The more sheeple who download the app, the more personal information collected (e.g. medical and browser history, as well as lockdown dick pics).
Before downloading the app please read the following:
- Size: 1984 MB.
- Available for Android and iOS devices, but not the chunky Nokias that elderly people use.
- Infected users can also engage in real-time chat with other infected users.
- There is no obligation to download the app or use it. However you may discover an increase in your health insurance premium, and the cancellation of your Model Railway Monthly subscription.
“We are concerned that some “solutions” to the crisis may, via mission creep, result in systems which would allow unprecedented surveillance of society at large.”
– Open letter by nearly 300 academics
“Such applications, by design, come with risks for privacy and medical confidentiality which can be mitigated more or less well, but not completely, depending on the approach taken in their design.”
– Open letter by privacy experts and academics to UK Government
“The more people who download this important public health app… the sooner we can safely lift restrictions and get back to business and do the things we love.”
– Scott Morrison, Prime Minister of Australia
“If enough people download the app it would facilitate the reopening of schools and people returning to work.”
– Stephen Donnelly, Minister for Health of Ireland
“Track and trace for humans.”
– Winston Smith, DHL
“Downloading it is like volunteering to be spied upon by the health Stasi.”
– Ross Clark - The Telegraph
“It doesn’t work on older phones.”
– Charlie Stayt, BBC Breakfast
“The more people who use it, the better it works.”
– Simon Thompson, Managing Director of the NHS COVID-19 App“The NHS Covid-19 app could be adapted to show who has had the jab and might then be used to ban people from hospitality venues.”
– Nadhim Zahawi, Minister for Vaccines, UK