PCR Test Kit
Ramp up FEAR with this COVID-19 test kit! Guaranteed to create anxiety with false positives – and to justify inhumane lockdowns, nonsensical measures and economic devastation. No questions asked!
Each kit contains an XL cotton bud soaked in snake oil – and a stylish vial for containing boogies and snots. Remarkably, our backstreet lab PCR analysis can amplify specimens to identify prior infection, such as the flu you had six years ago.
Testing is fast and vital to transform positive tests into cases, and cases into infections. So, if you want to prolong lockdowns and cancel Christmas, just “test, test, test.”
PRODUCT INFORMATION
- Authorised home test for SARS-CoV-2, harmless virus particles and basically any prior infection, such as Influenza.
- You must be over the age of 18 to use this sample collection kit.
- BS marked and colour coded white
- Results and 10,000 Air Miles typically available within 24 to 72 hours
- Do not let the boogies in the sample tube touch your skin or eyes.
REVIEWS
“We have a simple message for all countries: test, test, test.”
– Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director General“Your Coronavirus Test Is Positive. Maybe It Shouldn’t Be.”
– Apoorva Mandavilli / New York Times“Coronavirus tests are “faulty” and contain “technical errors”.
– President John Magufuli, Tanzania
(commenting after the return of positive results on samples taken from a goat, sheep and pawpaw).“You can find ‘Anything in Anybody’ if you amplify it enough. “Doesn’t mean you’re sick.”
– Kary Mullis, inventor of the PCR Test“Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms.”
– CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)“Several assays that detect the 2019-nCoV have been and are currently under development, both in-house and commercially. Some assays may detect only the novel virus [COVID] and some may also detect other strains (e.g. SARS-CoV) that are genetically similar.”
– World Health Organization (WHO)“Testing is critical to understand the pattern of virus spread in order to develop strategies to mitigate spread.”
– Dr. Louis Mansky, University of Minnesota“Every time somebody takes a swab, a tissue sample of their DNA, it goes into a government database. It’s to track us. They’re not just looking for the virus.”
– David Rasnick, biochemist“Absolutely excited to use this product and get my life back!”
– John Smith, Manchester“As it turned out, the person who was positive transpired to be negative with two negative tests. It was really unfortunate that happened.”
– Gary Owens, FAI (Football Association of Ireland)“COVID19 PCR Tests are Scientifically Meaningless.”
– Torsten Engelbrecht & Konstantin Demeter, OffGuardian“Unreliable & Unlawful to Quarantine People.”
– Portuguese Court of Appeal (November 2020)“Testing hub launched for Teessiders WITHOUT covid symptoms as infection rates continue to rise.”
– Alex Metcalfe, TeesideLive“I've never been tested for coronavirus, because I’ve never had symptoms.”
– Mark Rutte, Prime Minister, The Netherlands“COVID19 PCR Tests Are Scientifically Meaningless.”
– Torsten Engelbrecht & Konstantin Demeter“Every Scary Thing You’re Being Told Depends on the Unreliable PCR Test.”
– Patrick Henningsen“WHO Finally Admits COVID-19 PCR Test Has a ‘Problem.’”
– WHO (Jan 2021)